Mr Mikey's Ladies - The Director's Cut

Spot the difference between this version of Mr Mikey's Dancing Ladies and the one on YouTube - on your right and scroll down a little. Tell me which one you prefer, sweethearts. For the reasons why they have different sound tracks, scroll down to the post called "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and read all about it.

This is the moment in the novel that the vid (more or less) envisages:

"The Archangel Uriel took this moment to respond to Mr Mikey’s request and flung creative brilliance around him like a coat of many colours. The vision he saw before him made Michael Gorman gasp with the wonder of his own imagination: not only were there, in reality, two stunning, silver-swathed sisters sitting in his tasteful, fifties-style, pink and black themed salon, lip-syncing to one of the all time great girlie songs, but on either side of them he saw a vision of an endless row of glamorous, grown up women under an infinite line of dryers, in plastic capes, sheer stockings and stiletto heels, miming and mincing to his own camp choreography.

"That was it! The theme, the subject and the style of ‘The Ladies’ in one eighties hit: the seared soul of twenty first century woman, depressed by the demands and desires of men, repressed by the restrictions of families, but still glowing and gorgeous, ripe and ready for – well, fun. This was the reality he would reveal to audiences worldwide through the magic of the musical. He would shine the spotlight of truth on male and female relationships by way of his real life ladies and their men...."

Buy the book and enjoy the rest of my scintillating story!

Mwa mwah xxx

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Some of my lovely ladies made this fabulous video to help publicise that naughty novel about moi, Mr Mikey's Ladies. All they wanted was to help me get my mega musical off the ground and like all girlfriends, have a bit of fun themselves into the bargain. They were realising the scene of my initial inspiration (page 34), when Corinne and Bella get carried away to Cindi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

But when we uploaded our creative oeuvre to my YouTube site, Cindi's record company didn't want to have fun at all! The sound recognition software on YouTube told us we didn't have the copyright and automatically muted the sound - then they had the cheek to put up an ad for Cindi's song on top of my ladies choregraphic charisma! It's not as if there aren't a million videos up on YouTube using uncopyrighted songs of all sorts - and all it can posibly do is encourage viewers to go and buy albums if they like what they hear.

A little fancy footwork on the part of Mr Mikey, however, resulted in finding an "audio swap" option which fitted exactly to the rhythm and even the movements of the original dancing, so instead of my girls having fun, they're now Jumping and Moving their Bodies to Nico (the musician - not Bella's belligerent restaurateur husband!) in perfect, hilarious time.

Still, Amazon are a little less anal about the videos you can post as "reviews" for books, so you can watch the original cinematographic sensation if you scroll down to the bottom of the Mr Mikey's Ladies page on Amazon.co.uk, or indeed on Amazon.com if you're outside the UK, even residing Down Under like me.

So, YouTube, you're no fun, but Ros, Kathy and Mary, you're the best and funnest girlfriends a man can have, and look equally gorgeous (and funny) dancing to both tracks. Big, big thanks to Sharron, my fellow hairdressing genius from the Rainbow Clinic, for your creative choreography, superb set dressing and head arrangements for The Ladies.

Love you all, ladies - you're my inspiration!