Bad Girl Britney / Good Girl Kylie

It's all very well strutting out of your London hotel in your pink shorts as if butter wouldn't melt, Britney babes, but if you don't keep your appointments it doesn't do anything for your image as a reconstituted star, darling.

Did you just forget that you had a ticket waiting at the box office for Priscilla Queen of the Desert? Or was the thought of watching real live performers who can sing and dance at the same time, as well as lip synching, too much for your delicate constitution?

Well, it wasn't too much trouble for Kylie, who came with her sister and thoroughly enjoyed the performance. I wonder who was more nervous about seeing each other again, Jason or Kylie? It's been a long time since Neighbours and their relationship that flowered offstage as well as on - but thankfully we've sorted out both their hairstyles since then!

Now there's a girl who can sing, dance and act.... and wouldn't she be perfect playing perfect Debra in a stage or screen version of Mr Mikey's Ladies?! What about it, Kylie babes?

And even though Britney didn't bother to show, the cast of Priscilla had a lovely surprise when gorgeous David Hasselhof turned up to see a performance, and posed with everyone afterwards. There he is on the left, with the lovely Tony Sheldon who plays Bernadette on the right.

Mwa Mwa, girls. Talk soon xx

Tony, Queen of Priscilla!

I dropped into the Palace Theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue last week to see my dear friend and neighbour from Balmain strutt his stuff on the West End stage.

The Wonderful Tony Sheldon is starring - alongside Jason Donovan - as Bernadette in the London version of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. And what a star he is, my darlings! As Bernadette (gorgeous blue frock, centre stage), he totally steals the show, with his warm, sympathetic portrayal of the ageing transexual performer (never drag queen!) whose glory days are behind her.

Tony tells of how Terence Stamp, who created the role in the original film, came to see him twice in the Sydney production and, emotionally speaking, handed over "Bernadette Bassenger" to his safe-keeping. She couldn't be in better hands - I've seen darling Tony play the classics, comedy, cabaret and musical theatre over the years, and he's a top performer in every theatrical genre. In fact I'm tempted to offer him the part of moi, Mr Mikey himself, in any adaptation to stage or screen of my little life story... even if he is a few years older than my good self and not exactly South London born and bred.

Still, he can act, sing, lip-sync and shake a mean tail feather with the best of them - and he is the best of them in Priscilla, without a shadow of a doubt. In my opinion, those boys, Jason and Oliver, would fall apart without the experience, talent and perfectionism of the lovely Tony; he is the heart of the show!

And he was all heart and hospitality backstage, sitting in his dressing gown and false eyelashes while we chatted about old times in Balmain... I was pleased to see a copy of Mr Mikey's Ladies displayed on the coffee table - not just for my benefit, I hope, Tony!

Luv ya, Tony - keep kicking those lovely legs xxxx

Straight men on the run!

There you are, ladies! I give you Ms Joanna Lumley.

All it takes is one glamorous woman with brains, passion and chutzpah to get a load of straight men bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

Watch Joanna Lumley do her thing to get the Prime Minister and the Immigration Minister in a total tangle. Poise, elegance, good hair and makeup and a determination to get her own way - for a very good cause; she's an example to us all, girlfriends.

And take note of just how she does it: all charm and flattery - just what heteros fall for every time. She "trusts" the PM, she has every faith in him - how can he not live up to her expectations when she puts it like that? Listen and learn, ladies!

Come to think of it, I haven't heard back from Madge about my offer for her to play the part of Estelle in the stage or screen version of Mr Mikey's Ladies, and Joanna is by far the better actress - even if a touch older than Estelle is supposed to be. How about it Joanna - just what you need to give your career a boost after all the politics; give yourself a break, girl, let us see you exploiting your talent for comedy again - and giving the world a chance to laugh and cry with my lovely ladies.

BlogNor09: Blogging Norfolk - Moi?!

Not after that rude gentleman caller to BBC Radio Norfolk called me a cliche! How very dare he? A gay hairdresser in a marriage of inconvenience a cliche? I'll give him cliche - where he leasts expects to find one.

My creator and alter-ego, Lucy McCarraher, was being interviewed on Tuesday morning by the delightful David and beautiful Becky about our book, Mr Mikey's Ladies, when a most unwelcome email popped onto the studio screen. "A gay hairdresser married to his lover's sister, writing a musical based on girly pop anthems - could you get any more cliched?" wrote Nasty Neil, or Nigel or Ian, whatever your name was.

Ms McCarraher had the nerve to agree with Mr Nasty - only defending my reputation with some waffle about "subverting the cliches" in her novel.

Not good enough, I say! What may be a cliche to you, Nigel, is a deep and meaningful way of life to me and my Ladies. If you're an example of Norfolk's straight men, Neil, you're giving your kind a bad - or should that be a worse - reputation. Go away and work on your empathy and people skills! If you're a Norfolk queen, Neil, admit it, you're just jealous of Mr Mikey's success. Don't worry, sweetie - leave me a comment below and tell me all your troubles. I'll sort you out, and any other Norfolk lady or gentleman who needs my help.

Have a delightful day, Norfolk bloggers. And don't forget to watch my Bunwell Babes dancing on YouTube or in the post below.

Mwah, mwah for now x x x